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Meet my dog, Misty

God I am so happy to be home, I missed my dog Misty so much. Isn't she so cute? Enjoy some more cute dog pictures after the cut.
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Reading Rainbow-Chapter 16

Writer’s Note: Yes you’re not imaging it. This fanfic has finally been updated! So what have I been up to?  Well I’ve been focussed on getting though my school work and looking for work. No one told me that adult life was going to be so hard. So yeah, life been busy as hell. Other than that I’ve been suffering from major writer’s block. I feel no urge to write for ages. Thankfully my urge has returned. So I hope you enjoy this chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it again.
Another Note: Starting this chapter, this fanfic has a beta! Assistedrealityinterface. Be sure to go send her some love over at archiveofourown.
Also, only one character gets sorted in this chapter, because I haven’t decided where everyone will go. So if guys have any preferences, let me know! If not, I’ll just put the other characters though a sorting quiz.
Warnings: The Fourth wall no longer exist. Many lame jokes, and references are had. Thor and Loki make out, and Severus Snape is god’s gift to men. This is a crack fanfiction, and as shocking as this sounds...things are going get weirded started soon. Hold on to your minds readers, starting next chapter, things are going to get crazier.
Pairings: Steve/Tony, Loki/Thor, One sided!Chekhov/Steve, Bros!Clint and Bruce/Hulk, Clint/Natasha, One sided!Phil/Steve, Bros!Phil and Tony, Dumbledore/Severus, One sided!Voldemort/Severus, One sided!Harry and Harry/?.
Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own the avengers, or any of the marvel characters that appear in this fanfiction. I also don’t own any of the characters from Harry Potter, the amazing J.K. Rowling owns them. The only characters I own are the narrator, chekhov, the little old lady     Freddy Gwen, Renner and the death eater-in-the-front-row.
Reading Rainbow
Chapter Sixteen- In which Steve gets another admirer, and the dark lord plots
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Ship Masterlist

So I decided to write up a ship master list, mainly to keep track of them all. Be warned I have many ships...like too many.
Ship Master list
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Reading Rainbow (Chapters 1-15)

Its been awhile since I posted anything on my journal. I'm very sorry about that, but to make it up to you guys here's a link to my stevetony fanfic! http://archiveofourown.org/works/498582/chapters/874234 :)
 As you may know, if you've been following my post for awhile, I have already posted the first couple chapters on my journal. Since then I have written alot more! And another chapter is coming soon!~
 Don't worry, this time around I plan on posted the chapter here as well. Until then, I hope you enjoy what I got written. 

Reading Rainbow (Steve/Tony 2/?)

Writer’s Note: Oh dear lord…what is this...I don’t even…I’m so sorry Thor. Please don’t hurt me. Also...the sleepy beauty story begin told here is a mix of the original story and the Disney version. In fact a lot of it comes from the Disney version...I just wanted the excuse to write people singing. I regret nothing but the dress. 
Warning: Thor in a dress. I’m so sorry. Also crack…so much crack…
Disclaimer: I do not own the avengers. I think that is a good thing
Jessie (Eclecticlioness). She is all kinds of awesome.
                                        Reading Rainbow
                 Chapter Two- In which Thor is a pretty Disney princess
     A week after the presentation the king decided to throw a party for his beloved daughter. People from all over the world were invited to bring gifts to bestow upon their princess. In fact this birth was so special that the fairies themselves had been invited to gift the child with their magic..
    As he stood in the castle and made his way towards the baby, Tony couldn’t help but hope that this was really all some kind of alcohol induced nightmare. He was wearing red silk, carrying a wand, about to do magic on a tiny, oddly cute, baby Thor.
 “Really of all the parts I could’ve played here...I’m a fairy?”
  “I think it suits you quite well actually.” The narrator said, sounding vastly amused by Tony’s complaints. “You really don’t have a lot to complain about...I could have given you young Thor’s part after all.”
  There was that Tony supposed as he lapsed into contemplative silence. Knowing Thor though, he would probably be less horrified by his role in the story than by the idea of being controlled by some mysterious voice in the sky. For some reason Thor hated being controlled. 
  “I wonder why that is.” Tony thought to himself wryly. He was pulled from his musings by the King’s voice.
  “Welcome everyone! I am gratified that you all have joined us this day to celebrate the birth of my beautiful daughter!”  The King boomed, as happy as any present had ever seen him, with his Queen  standing serenely at his side.
  “It is we who are grateful my liege. We too have long awaited the arrival of a young prince or princess,” one the fairies, obviously their leader, said with a polite curtsey. She seemed to be the oldest and carried herself with an air of authority that the others seemed to lack.
  The king smiled at the fairy’s words and stepped back to join his Queen to watch the presentation of gifts. The fairy who had spoken before went first. She moved to the golden crib and leaned her head down to Princess Thor.
  “Fair princess, I give thee the gift of beauty; that all who look upon you be overwhelmed.”
  The other guests cheered as bright sparks of magic fell from the leader’s wand to twine around the new princess. A fairy dressed in shades of blue advanced and shot a tiny glare at the leader before she drew herself up to her full height and raised her wand. 
  “Princess Thor, I give thee the gift of knowledge; everything there is to know you will know.” A cheer went up again. The blue fairy turned with a smirk to the leader fairy. Tony could only stare. 
  A third fairy, this time dressed in green, approached the crib and stood posed, considering which gift to bestow on the child. It was then that Tony finally noticed the attention he was getting from the crowd. 
  It was understandable really; Tony was the only male fairy after all. But that didn’t seem quite right…they seemed to be staring at him in…wonder? When it finally occurred to him why, Tony was irritated at himself that it took so long. 
  “Oh…they’re wondering what my gift will be...shit. Ummm think of something Tony!” He told himself frantically. 
  There was a roar of cheering as the green fairy gifted the young child with compassion and strength. And suddenly everyone turned to stare at Tony. Before he could say anything he found himself walking up to the crib without his consent. 
  “What the hell?!” he mutters, slightly panicked.
  “Now, Mr. Iron man, play your part well.” The narrator said, before Tony was sent stumbling forward by a push from an invisible hand.
  “Bastard.” Tony grumbled, drawing shocked looks from the other fairies for his language. Like he gave a shit what they thought anyway. He was slowly getting the feeling that he knew what his gift would be. If he remembered the Disney version of the story well enough...a bad fairy was about to show up to curse baby Thor in about five...four...three...two, wait for it...cue bad guy entrance.
  “Greetings my dear King, Queen and honored guests; so sorry I’m late but it seems that my invite has been lost in its delivery. I’ve only just learned of this celebration and came at once to give my gift.” Said the voice of a tall figure dressed in black that Tony would swear hadn’t been there before. 
  Grasps echoed through the crowd but Tony didn’t join them. “I know that voice…Unless I’ve finally lost it...but that voice…It can’t be…Can it?” 
  The King glared at the figure, “You are not welcome here witch! You were banned from this kingdom for your actions…”
  “Yes yes…” The figure waved a hand dismissively, “Can we not just let the past go? A child has been born to you at last my great king! The kingdom’s future has finally been assured! This is cause for celebration, for merriment. Should we not embrace it and overlook the events of the past that have caused such conflict between us?” He said in a very reasonable tone of voice, though his attempt at diplomacy was less effective than it might have been due to the mocking smirk that curled his lips.
  Some in the crowd seemed to agree, the king however was not moved and the fairies practically vibrated with rage. In fact, the leader had apparently heard enough and advanced on the intruder with her wand pointed threateningly. 
  "Hold your silver tongue witch before someone removes it from your lying mouth! You will never be a part of this kingdom’s future! You have only ever desired and worked toward its end!”
  The figure laughed, hard, cold and immensely familiar as he spoke with an audible sneer, “Now now, my dear Amy, I’ve come only to present my gift to the child, there is no need for such anger.” With a flick of a thin, pale hand his hood fell back and even though he half expected it, Tony couldn’t stop himself from shouting.
  “LOKI?! What the Hell!?”
  Loki either didn’t hear him or, if he had, ignored Tony as he raised his wand, which had appeared out of nowhere, above his head. “I, the great witch Loki, bestow this gift upon the princess. She will indeed be loved by all and live happily for many years. But on her sixteenth birthday she will prick her finger on the spindle from a spinning wheel and DIE.”
  There was a terrible uproar but none could do a thing for Loki had vanished as quickly as he came. The queen fell to her knees beside the bassinette in tears and the fairies wept freely, but Tony was already raising his own wand over the baby’s head. 
  “Let’s hope I get this right…”
  “I, Tony Stark, give this gift to you. Thor, you will have a long and happy life and if you should prick your finger you won’t die, no, instead you will fall into a deep sleep and wake only at true love’s kiss.”
  “Well that was...something. A little lacking in poetry maybe but I suppose considering the source,” The narrator commented, sounding faintly amused. 
  “Shut it.” Tony snapped.
  “Yes, by all means, talk to the voice that no one else can hear, that will make you look sane in any universe.”
  The narrator was right there at least, the other fairies were looking at him in confusion. The green one spoke up, “Was ‘shut it’ part of the spell? Because I don’t know how that can work Tony, it isn’t very practical at any rate.”
  The Queen had run to the crib and picked up the child, clutching at Thor desperately, before she turned to Tony with tearful gratitude, “Thank you! Oh thank you Fairy Tony!”
  Though death had been circumvented the King sent out an order that all spindles and spinning wheels in the kingdom be burned. The sky was dark with smoke that night. And so, many years passed and the young princess grew into a beauty the likes of which none had seen before. She was kind, gentle with a voice like an angel and was loved by all who knew her. The fairies themselves, fearing the evil witch’s rage at being thwarted, elected one of their own to protect the princess always. Fairy Tony…much to his dismay.
  “Wait! Aren’t the fairies supposed to raise the princess?!” Tony commented as the scene around him changed to a forest. 
  “That was the Disney version my friend,” Replied the narrator a little smugly.
  Tony swore viciously under his breath, the Disney version was the only one he knew more or less completely, “Wait a second I’m pretty sure a fairy didn’t stick around in the original…”
  “Mr. Iron man do I really need to remind you who is telling this story?” The narrator snapped, irritation clear in his voice.
  There was a muted popping sound and Tony suddenly found himself falling though the sky and then with another pop he was back on the ground. 
  “Yes, OK, fine…I get it. You’re the one in control. Don’t have to be a jerk about it!” He yelled up at the sky. 
  Tony blinked and turned to see Thor running toward him yelling, a common daily occurrence honestly, “SHIELD BROTHER!! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE OTHER AVENGERS?!”
  Though the yelling part was an everyday occurrence, Thor wearing a puffy pink dress was not. 
  “Holy Shit my eyes! Thor, what the actual fuck?! Why are you wearing that ridiculous mess?!” Tony exclaimed, covering his eyes with his hands in a vain attempt to block out the traumatizing site before him even as he tried unsuccessfully to mentally delete the image of Thor in a dress from his memory. 
  Thor looked down at his clothes with a frown, “I believe it is a dress Tony, though I confess I know not from whence it came. Or why it is this most violent shade of pink,” He grumbled with obvious distaste, “You have not yet answered my question…where are we? And what is going on?”
  Seeing as Tony was still deeply traumatized by the fuchsia monstrosity that Thor was currently draped in, the narrator spoke up instead, “Ah Thor, how quickly you’ve grown. And I really do think that is your color by the way…brings out your eyes. Anyway…Welcome to my world! A world in which the Avengers must play the parts I choose in the stories I tell. You dear sir are currently playing the part of sleeping beauty.”
  Thor just arched an eyebrow and shook his fist at the voice as he shouted at the sky “Villain! What gives you the right to make us play these parts?!” 
  Tony, meanwhile, had finally emerged from his stupor but he happened to look over at Thor again just as then and was suddenly right back to incoherent traumatized flailing and mumbling.
  “You mean aside from the fact that this is my world? I’m the narrator and this is my story. Now get your friend to stop jibbering. The story must continue.”
  Thor glared but reached out and grabbed Tony by the shoulder and gave him a good hard shake to get his attention.
  Tony snapped out of if after a moment with a grimace, “God…Thor, just…after all this is over...just…please, just…NEVER WEAR A DRESS AGAIN!”
  Thor wisely ignored his babble and asked, concern heavy in his tone, “Shield brother, Tony, what should we do? This voice from the heavens insists we play our parts…”
  “Or he’ll hurt the others or send us falling through air. Yeah...seems like we don’t have a lot of options at the moment…let’s just get this insanity over with.” Tony sighed.
  “Good morning Princess Thor!” Exclaimed a high pitched, girly voice behind them. 
  Both Thor and Tony turned and stared incredulously at what was, apparently, a talking tree. 
  “Tony…Unless I am mistaken, trees do not speak on your world. Do they?” Thor asked sounding genuinely concerned.
  “Yeah, no, not so much...but then we’re not on my world right now apparently...this is so weird…” Tony replied, voice edging toward panicked babbling again.
  The tree, it was really just a normal tree apart from the talking thing, kept speaking as though it was completely normal. 
  “Today really is a lovely day don’t you think Princess? Doesn’t it make you just want to sing about it?!” It squeaked excitedly.
  “Truly it is a beautiful day dear tree! It does fill one with great cheer!” Thor replied with a brilliant grin, apparently already over the whole talking tree thing. Tony was not, so very not, and continued to stare as if it were the spawn of Satan.
  The tree laughed, “That it does! Come, we must sing, so that everyone we meet will know of our good cheer!”
  Suddenly, the air was filled with music from an unseen source. 
  “Now then, SING!” The narrator demanded, as the music gained volume.
  “NO! I refuse! This is not Disney…you said so! So why the hell do I have to sin…”
  “OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! IT FILLS ME WITH SUCH CHEEERR!” Thor sang, badly, as he twirled around in his pink dress. 
  Tony gaped turning an interesting shade of purple before exploding, “THOR! NO DON’T GIVE IN!”
  Tony suddenly felt the urge to join him, “No I won’t. You, you can’t make me...I’m Tony Fricking Stark. I DO NOT SING!” He yelled, fighting the impulse.
    The narrator just laughed maniacally as the music grew louder and louder. Even the tree had started to sing along. 
  “No! I refuse...I…I...THE BIRDS ARE FLYING AND THE SKY IS SO BLUE…” Tony belted out, remarkably on key, before he could stop himself.  As the last note faded out he blinked hard, horror dawning on his face. 
“NOOOOOOOO!!!” He howled in denial, significantly less on key, as he felt his body start to twirl without his permission.
  And so, the Princess and her loyal fairy sang their way through the morning, unaware that they were being watched by a young prince from a nearby kingdom, who had come to hunt in the forest. 
End of Chapter Two/

Reading Rainbow (Steve/Tony 1/?)

Writer's Note: I present to you all the first chapter of Reading Rainbow! My lovely avengers crack fic. I worked hard on this and hope all you guys enjoy it. By the way italics are the story in the story parts

Warning: This fanfiction is a crack fic. Do not take anything seriously. Characters will act like over the top versions of themselves, trees will talk, and fury is a pretty ballerina in his free time. Its cracktasitic. Also there will be guys making out with each other so don't want to read that LEAVE NOW.

Disclaimer: I do not own the avengers..seeing what I do to these characters in this fic maybe that's a good thing.

Reading Rainbow

Chapter One- And so the story begins..

As an avenger Tony Stark has come face to face with a lot of weirdness. In fact it probably said a lot about him that he didn't even flinch when he turned on the tv to the site of 'the cat in the hat' destroying New York. His only reaction was to raise one eye brow and wonder how Loki had come across the cat in the hat. Loki didn't really hit him as a guy who would read children's books but who was he to judge? So he put on his armour and flew off, with no idea that his day was about to get weirder.

"Iron man! You're here!" Peter cried out, as he swang around the cat in hat's legs, "About time to. We have our hands full here."

"I can see that.." Tony murmured, as he stared at the site before him. It seems during his flight over that the cat in the hat had been joined by some friends. The Berenstain bears were there as well, roaring and sending cars flying with their feet.

Steve, as well as the other avengers were focusing their actions on the family. Upon hearing Peter's voice calling out to Tony, Steve taped on his ear piece and spoke, "Iron man! Thank god..We are a little tied up taking care of the berenstain family..could you help Spiderman?"

Tony smiled at the sound of Steve's voice, "Of course Cap. So I'm guessing that this is all Loki's fault or do we have an crazed primary teacher on our hands?"

Steve snorted in humour, jumping out of the way of Brother's hand, "Well Thor says that he can't feel his brother at present So we can cross out Loki." If he was going to say anything about the primary teacher Tony would never know because it was then that Thor let loose a roar. Then a wave of lighting was send at Father bear. The battle continued for awhile, but eventually Spiderman and Tony took the cat in the hat down with Peter's webs(and a good shot of Tony's chest beam). The others had also taken down the bear family. (The hulk had helped a great deal with that as he had no problem attacking sister bear, when the others had froze.)

"Well that was fun, destroyed my childhood yes but fun." Peter piped up, as he looked up at the tied up children's characters. Steve looked around him as if he was waiting for something.

"What's up Cap?" Tony asked, as he laying next to his friend's side.

"Its just..that was a little too easy.." Steve turned to face him, "Iron man can you do a quick swipe of the surrounding area see if anyone strange is near by?"

"On it Cap." Tony took off and flew out over the surrounding area but saw nothing but empty abandon cars.

"It sure was lucky that those creatures decided to attack now..I mean there is basically no one in the main street at this hour!" Clint noted, he to was looking around and kept his bow upright as he waiting for the punch line. Nothing was this easy for the avengers. Their worries were right, of course, as the villain of the day was still there. He was hidden from site and sound. For he was not even human. No he was something else in tiredly, and the avengers were about to learn that he himself was not so easy to take down.

Suddenly there was a white light, and the sky its self was seemly ripping apart. The avengers could only ready themselves, as a voice seemed to come from the heaven's themselves.

"Greetings Avengers. I am the narrator and I welcome you all to take part in my story."

"What the hell?" Clint cried, as he was suddenly being pulled into the air. Natasha acted quickly and grasped at his legs as they flew past her only to lose her own ground.

"HULK quick grab them! Don't let them fly away!" Steve shouted, he need not to, as abound seeing Clint's flight he has rush over to him with a cry.

"You let go of cupid!" The hulk yelled as he jumped in the air; catching the flying Clint and Natasha in his arms.

"Now. Now. No fighting it. All of you will be pulled into the story." With that Clint, Natasha and the hulk went flying into the rip in the sky.

"NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM?" Steve cried out angrily, glaring up at the sky. He got no answer, instead suddenly his legs left the ground.

"CAP!" Tony flew as fast as he could to Steve's side and took the man in his arms. This meant sadly that he wasn't there to stop either Peter or Thor from flying into the rip in the sky.

Tony didn't stop to think about them, he had to save Steve. He turned his back on the rip and tried flying away. The invisible grip of the rip was to strong on and was dragging him back.

"Now no need to worry. Just give up and join the story and enjoy the power of the word." The narrator said, as the pull from the rip suddenly grew tighter and Tony was sent flying.

"Damn it! Jarvis power up my foot blusters!" Tony shouted as he and Steve were brought closer to the rip.

"You had to fight it didn't you? I should have guessed.." The narrator sighed and suddenly Steve was ripped from Tony's arms.

"NO STEVE!" Tony cried out and reached out a armour hand to grasp at Steve's outreach hand. With a pop Steve was gone though the rip.

"STEVE!" Tony screamed and without thinking twice about it, went flying into the rip without a fight.

Blight light and then nothing.

Slowly Tony opened his eyes and found himself staring up at the bright blue sky. "Jarvis. Report." Jarvis did not answer him and after a couple seconds he knew why. His suit was gone. He sat up quicky and stared down at himself.


"If I allowed you to keep your amour mister Iron man you would had a unfair advantage in the story, and we can't have that."

Tony glared to the side, where he believed the voice was coming from, "Who are you and what have you done to my teammates?"

"There is no need to worry my friend, they too are here in my story. If you wish you may look for them but I advise you to stay and play your part."

"My part! What the hell do you mean by that? If this is some kind of game I'm not going to play it." With that statement Tony stood and made to walk off only to be stopped by the narrator's next words.

"I would not do that if I were you. If you do not play your part in my story I will sadly have to punish the one you love."

"What did you just say?"

"I believe what I said was quite straight forward but at last I will explain, If you don't play my game Iron man and I use my story to kill one Captain America. Also before you open your mouth I know you love him. I'm the narrator and this is my story and I know all."

Tony glared, "Then you know that this will all end with you behind bars."

"Most likely yes but that does not mean I can't have fun first right?"

A anger fulled Tony's chest. This thing had treated to kill Steve, had taken his friends and was forcing them all to play his sick game. This was fun to him?

"Alright then. What actually is my part?"

"You will learn soon.."

Suddenly Tony was standing before a castle as a crowned man stood at his window looking down at the people below.

"Once upon a time there was a king and queen who wanted a child but could not have one. That was till one day when the queen had a daughter. There was a great celebration across the land, for the king and Queen had finally had a child. So the King called his people to the castle to introduce the child.."

Tony blinked, "What.."

The king smiled down at his people from his castle window, "Greetings my people! After so long me and my wife have had a child. So rejoice my people! We have a princees!" He took a step back taking a child from an unknown person's arms. "I present to you all my daughter! PRINCESS THOR!"

"YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" Tony shouted, just as the crowd cheered, as the King turned the child to face them. The 'child' had blond hair, blue eyes and was holding a small hammer.

"And so a party was throw together to celebrate this great event..everyone was happy for the birth of Princess Thor..all but one."

It was then, as he found himself dress in red cloth and holding a wand, did Tony realized that as a avenger he had not faced all the weirdest things. This was the weirdest.

"I'm a fairy and Thor is a Princess. Yeah that sounds weird to even say out loud."

"Now Mister Iron man. I think you make a great fairy. Have you guessed what this part of my story is?"

If looks could kill the narrator would be dead five times over.

"This my friend is the story of Sleeping Beauty! Now then I leave you to your part.."

"And so the story begins.."

End Chapter One.

(Fanfic) The Case of the Stumped Toe

(BBC Sherlock Crack fic) The Case of the Stumped Toe

Personal Note: This fanfic was actually written awhile ago but I decided to hold off posting it, until after the falls. God I'm glad I made that decision..the sherlock fandom needs some good old crack fic to help with the pain. God my heart still hurts…

Warning: THIS IS A CRACK FIC. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. It is also very out of character but its crack..I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. XD This fic will also contain sherlock/john. But thats canon anyway so you should be used to it.

With nothing else left to say I present:

The Case of the stumped toe

by DarkGreenOtaku

When one lives with Sherlock Holmes, one has to accept that 'normal' for the great detective involves various body parts in various places. One John Watson,(Best friend, roommate, and boyfriend of Sherlock Holmes), was quite use to opening the fridge and seeing a human head but no milk. Random body parts weren't the only thing that John had gotten use to by living with Sherlock. There was also the periods of no cases where Sherlock took his anger out on the walls, or (if you were his boyfriend) several sexual related experiments. So yes, John was in the belief that their was nothing Sherlock could do to surprise him. Naturally when one lives with Sherlock Holmes..you have to realize that if body parts and shooting at walls is 'normal' parts of live..then what will be abnormal?

So when John walked in on Sherlock stabbing the couch with a steak knife, swearing a mile per minute, he nearly kept walking. Just because he was dating the man didn't mean he had to understand everything Sherlock did. Of course, one can't just ignore a man stabbing a couch. So John sat in his chair and watch Sherlock's abnormal activity.

"Sherlock..why are you stabbing the couch and not taking your anger at the walls as usual? I mean will be happy that your not putting holes in the walls anymore but what did the couch ever do to you?"

Sherlock looked up, but did not stop with the stabbing, "It got in my way." STAP. STAP. STAP. John couldn't help but feel pity for the poor couch, as Sherlock's started to peel off the ruined fabric like a mad man.

"Actually how did it get in your way?"

Sherlock didn't even look up this time, he just glared at the couch like it had killed his mother, "I had finally come to a conclusion about the missing Capula jewels when this couch interrupted my thought process."

John couldn't help but let interest come out in his next words, "It interrupted YOUR thought process? How is that ever possible? You came to a conclusion when you were hanging upside from a ceiling once!"

"Twice. I came to a conclusion twice from hanging from a ceiling. Quite good for the mind actually John. You see all the blood goes to your head and.."

"Yeah. Yeah. So are you going to tell me how the couch interrupted your thought process?" John said as he got up to stand by Sherlock bowed figure. As he grew closely to the remains of the couch John hit his toe on the legs and cried out in pain.

"JOHN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" When John nodded at him(jumping up and down on one foot), Sherlock turned to the couch in rage. "FIRST YOU INTERRUPT MY THOUGHT PROCESS AND NOW YOU DARE TO HARM MY JOHN?" He then dropped the knife and pulled out a lighter, "YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF COUCH! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF!"

So before John could stop him(he was in pain people, give him a break), Sherlock set the couch on fire. How the couch when up in flames so easily John doesn't know but he does know how bloody cold it is outside. He and Sherlock stood outside watching the fire fighters attempt to save their flat.

"Oh thank god Ms. Hudson wasn't home..she would have skinned us alive." John mumbled, as he watched the fire fighters put out the flames. "I hope your happy Sherlock."

Sherlock(who had pulled John into his arms), looked down at John's face, "Why would I be happy about our flat being on fire?"

John rolled his eyes, "Didn't you think setting the couch on fire was going a little over board? I mean all of this happened because we both stumped a toe!"

Sherlock pouted, "But it interrupted my thoughts and HURT YOU!" He held John tighter, "It deserved death."

John just sighed, "Well now we need a new couch..and oh hi ."

The next few moments involve alot of screaming and begging for life so I'll skip it. Let Sherlock and John keep some pride. No need for the word to know how Ms Hudson has them wimped. So after Sherlock and John promised to clean the whole apartment(well John cleaned, and Sherlock watched), the two went out and got a new couch.

In order to avoid this ever happening again..John wrapped the new couch's legs. Then joined Sherlock to christen it. All in all just another day in the 'normal' life of Sherlock Holmes.

The end

Time for a little Christmas spirit Part 6/6

Disclaimer: The avengers and all its characters do not belong to me. Trust me if they did Tony and Steve would be getting it on already.

Warning: This part focuses more on the romantic mush. You've been warned.

Note: This fanfic took a lot longer to write than I had planned...But what can you do? I hope you guys enjoy reading this! Also expect more Steve/Tony crack from me in the future.

Time for a little Christmas Spirit

Final Part~

It had finally come. Christmas. All the elves shouted with joy, and Santa let lose a 'once a Christmas' smile. It was a perfect Christmas, with the right amount of snow and everything. Yes, naturally there were some bar fights, and unhappy children(Yes you got a toy instead of a ipod. SUCK IT UP), but all in all the elves were just happy to see Christmas at all. When the Grinch had appeared, they had believed all had been lost but Santa had taken him down.

At the home of ex-scrooge Tony Stark, Christmas was going well. He hadn't gotten drunk on eggnog and Pepper wasn't yelling at him. Though the best part of this Christmas was having Steve by his side. Tony couldn't help but smile at the scene that presented itself before him. Elf Thor and Elf Loki were doing some kind of elf dance as a drunk Rhodey cheered them on. Steve was just shaking his head at them but laughing all the same. For the first time at Christmas Tony was happy. Pepper seemed to notice his good mood, "You seem happy Tony. I'm glad."

Tony blinked and stared at her, "Why?"

Pepper laughed, "Because you're my best friend and I'm glad you've finally found someone to have Christmases with."

Tony turned his eyes back on Steve, who smiled back at him. "Yeah. I couldn't have picked a better person."

As if he had known that the two had been talking about him, Steve made his way over and kissed Tony's forehead, "You enjoying your self so far?"

"Ya, and now I have the perfect blackmail.." He said as he pointed to Rhodey(who at this point was attempting to do the elf dance with Elf Loki and Elf Thor), "And I have you Steve. This is the best Christmas I've ever had."

"I'm glad and just wait we have all our lives to make even better ones."

Tony couldn't help but stare at Steve, "All our lives huh. Yeah.." He smiled softly, "I'm on board for that plan." He reach up and tugged Steve drop to kiss him. Pepper watched all this with a smile on her face, before stepping away to give the new couple some space.

As the day went on Rhodey fell asleep, Pepper vanished(not before hugging Tony and Steve), and Elf Thor found the poptarts and ate them all. It was Christmas. The gifts had been opened, and Steve's cookies eaten. The snow had started to fall again. All in all it seemed like a scene out of a Christmas special. The old Tony would have snorted. Now he knew why so many people loved Christmas so much. It wasn't the gifts, or the tree. It was the time spend with love ones and just enjoying your self without the stresses of life.

The story ends here. Tony and Steve live happily ever after, Elf Thor and Elf Loki continue to help other scrooges though the years, and Agent Coulson transfers to the X-bunnies. As Santa would yell at the top of his lungs, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. AND ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"


Note: This fanfic was suppose to be over by Christmas. Naturally this didn't happen so this ending is a bit late, I hope you all had a good christmas and that our new year goes well. As for my thoughts on my fanfic.. the whole Grinch thing was supposed to be hinted at earlier. I naturally forgot to add it in. This is why I really need to type these ideas up(instead of writing them on paper and losing them). Other than that I am quite proud of this fic...and you can expect more Steve/Tony crack from me in the future. Though I'll be focussing more on Hetalia fics for awhile.

Disclaimer: The avengers and all its characters do not belong to me. Trust me if they did Tony and Steve would be getting it on already.
Warning: This part(while still full of good ole crack) focuses more on the mushy romance and drama. 
Note: I am so sorry that I didn’t update this fanfic sooner..like I said I would but my break ended and well school comes before fandom. I feel wrong just writing that. Anyways I hope you enjoy this part!
Time for a little Christmas spirit
Part Five~
  Once upon a time there was this scrooge that hated Christmas so much that if even left his home and walk among the people Christmas would be ruined. No matter how many elves they send to him, his hate for Christmas did not vanish. So Santa was left with no choice but to imprison him away from the rest of society. This imprisonment changed the scrooge, it made him un human. He became a Grinch, with only one goal in mind, to destroy Christmas forever more. 
 The world believed that the story of the grinch was just that..a story. Naturally they were wrong, as the Grinch now wondered around New York looking for Tony Stark. Where was Tony? At the mall Steve trying, trying to be the key word here, and failing to find Christmas gifts for the people on his list.
   ‘If someone told me some time last week that I would spend a couple days before Christmas in a mall trying to buy gifts I would have laughed..but that is actually what I’m doing right now.’ Tony through to himself, as he and Steve tried to make their way through a crowd of people. In fact if Tony was really honest with himself he had done a lot of things that he wouldn’t have done before these two weeks. He had made Christmas cookies(and on a completely un related note he now knew that him and cooking should never be in the same sentence), had decorated a actual Christmas tree, and watch some mushy family Christmas movies. Though what was really amazing him was that he was enjoying himself, heck he was enjoying himself right now(as he argued with Steve that of course Pepper would love some new shoes).
 “Tony are you alright? Your fading on me again.” Steve’s voice said breaking Tony out of his head and back to earth.
 “I’m fine, all good, so then what do you want for Christmas there big boy?” 
 Steve turned red(and Tony fought back expressing out loud how cute he found Steve’s blush), “You really don’t have to get me anything Tony.”
“But I want to get you something..so come on their has to be something you want.”
 Steve stopped walking and smiled at him, “I just want you to have a good Christmas.”
 This time it was Tony’s turn to blush, ‘God why is he so perfect?! No one can be this perfect!’
 It is then that everything changed. The mall suddenly got really cold and a bad feeling was felt in the air. 
 “What in the world?” Steve said, voicing everyone’s thoughts.  He got his answer quickly when Elf Thor and Elf Loki suddenly appeared before him. 
 “STEVE! YOU NEED TO TAKE TONY OUT OF HERE!” They shouted in perfect unison, each taking one of Steve’s arms. 
 “Why? What’s going on?”
 Tony blinked and took a step closer to Steve, “Has something happened..” With a popping sound a strange man appeared before them.
 Tony suddenly felt a hatred he had never felt before. The air its self seemed to darken with the sudden appearance of this man. ‘Why am I here wasting my time buying gifts? Why didn’t I just get Happy or Pepper to do it?’ Tony thought in anger.  This was wrong though, he had been enjoying himself, so why was he angry? 
 The man smiled(looking creepy like a craze murder), “Good evening. I assume your Tony Stark?”
 “Yeah and what of it?”
 The man laughed. Elf Thor quickly drawled out his mighty hammer and thus it at the man, “Grinch! I will not allow you to harm friend Tony!” 
 “The Grinch!? That’s the Grinch?!” Steve cried out in horror. He had hear of the Grinch but to see that such a horrible creature actually existed was shocking.
 The Grinch looked like a man but the air around him send waves of pure hate and fear. Waves that seemed to be affected Tony by the way his body was shaking with pure rage.
 “Tony!” Steve quickly took Tony’s hand, “We need to get out of here!” 
 Ekf Thor and Elf Loki had started a battle with the Grinch. Waves of pure energy beat at each other, breaking the windows and sending the people into a panic rush to the doors. Steve noticed none of this as he was only focussed on Tony, who had yet turned to face him. 
  “Tony! Tony you have to move! If you stay here any longer the Grinch hate will start to affect you!”
 As he fought Elf Thor and Elf Loki, the Grinch shot a look Steve’s way, “Your too late to stop that Elf. He has already been affected!”
 With that Tony turned to face Steve and Steve’s heart broke when he saw the look of pure hatred on Tony’s beautiful face. 
  “YOU. YOU STUPID LITTLE ELF THAT THINKS HE CAN CHANGE ME.. WELL YOUR WRONG! LIKE I WOULD EVER LOVE CHRISTMAS.” Tony roared at him, and though Steve knew that Tony did not mean what he was saying it didn’t mean it hurt any less.
 “I don’t want to change you Tony. I like you the way you are..I just wanted to make Christmas happy for you.”
 Steve took Tony into his arms, not caring that Tony was digging his nails into his skin.
 The Grinch just laughed, “You fool there is nothing you can say or do! He has already given into the hate! Christmas is ruined!”
 “NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.” Santa appeared in a beam of light, carrying a forty two candy cane. 
 “Oh bring it on Santa!” With that the two started to fight, Elf Thor and Elf Loki quickly got out of the way and rushed over to Steve.
  Steve just stood there holding Tony and wondering what he could say to get through the hate that was clouding Tony’s mind. He looked up at Elf Thor and Elf Loki(who were making there way to him) and the destroyed mall. The mall was in ruins, windows were shattered, and the large Christmas tree was on fire. It was a sad site but nothing compared to the site of Tony. Bright and beautiful Tony, being overcome by the hate. It was then that Steve realized something. He didn’t care if Christmas was going to get ruined, he just wanted Tony’s pain to end. In fact it was the first time in his life that he wished that Christmas didn’t exist. What was the point of it if it caused so much pain in people? That it could create so much hate? So much pain? 
 Steve pull Tony back a little in his arms and looked down at his face. What was the point of Christmas at all if he couldn’t spend it with a happy Tony? 
   It was then that there was another change in the air. For Steve had just broken the elves main law. He was no longer a elf. For he had suddenly realized as he looked down at Tony’s face..that he loved him. 
 Santa stopped in his fight to call out to Elf Thor and Elf Loki, “YOU TWO SHIELD STEVE QUICKLY! IF I JUST FELT THAT RIGHT HE’S HUMAN SO THE HATE CAN EFFECT HIM!”
 They didn’t have to be told as Elf Loki had already set a force field and stared at Steve in awe, “You realize by loving him that you can never be a elf. Your dream that you had for as long as I’ve known you..”
 Steve just smiled, “I have a different dream now.” He turned the smile to Tony, “Tony I never thought of you as my job. I wanted you to have a great Christmas because you deserve a good Christmas. I don’t know what cause you so much pain about Christmas but I want to help you have unpainful Christmases. I want to stay by your side and insure your happiness. Not just for the good of Christmas, but because I want you to be happy. Tony I love you and I want to make you happy on every day of the year.”
 With that last word Steve leaded in and kissed Tony. Tony stopping fighting his hold and kissed back, throwing his arms around Steve’s shoulders. 
 “Steve..I..I...love you too.” 
 “I know.”
 The Grinch feeling that his hatred no longer had its hold on Tony, glared at Steve. “How dare you get in my way boy!” He went to attack him but Santa blocked him.
 “I DON’T THINK SO BUD.” With one last shot from his forty two candy cane the Grinch was destroyed. 
 Steve and Tony(still in each others arms) watched as the Grinch died and as Santa made his way torwards them.
 “His name is Tony sir.”
 Tony smiled at him, “There is no need for that. If you haven’t realized it yet I’m not a scrooge anymore.” 
 Tony laughed and kissed Steve on the cheek, “How can I hate a holiday that brought Steve to me?”
 “OH GOD THIS IS SO MUSHY.” Santa cried in horror as the newly made couple cuddled and kissed before him.
 Elf Thor just laughed, “I am happy for you my friends!”
 Santa left, after fixing the mall(he hated getting sued..to much work). Steve and Tony headed home holding hands.
 Elf Loki watched them go, “It seems everything has ended well.”
Elf Thor nodded his agreement. 
And with a pop the two vanished. For they had a busy day tomorrow. For Christmas was only two days away.

Disclaimer: The avengers and all its characters do not belong to me. Trust me if they did Tony and Steve would be getting it on already.

Warning: *checks* Yup still Crack. Also this part contains mushy romantic moments. Also sorry that this Christmas fic didn't end on well..Christmas but what can you do? Anyways enjoy this part!

Read part one here: 
Read part two here: http://darkgreenotaku.livejournal.com/3870.html
Read part three here: http://darkgreenotaku.livejournal.com/4114.html

Time for a little Christmas spirit

Part Four~

To say the morning had been eventful would have putting it nicely. Steve had woken up to find a strange man staring at him, so he reacted like any sane person would, he jumped up and tackled him. To sum things up the poor guy was send flying through a window and the resulting slash woke Tony, who then had to tell a embarrassed Steve that the man was his best friend Rhodey. Thankfully for Steve's conscience Rhodey was fine, through their was a good chance that Rhodey will never visit Tony early in the mornings ever again.

"Oh god I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were one of Tony's friends! If I had know.."

Tony, you looked to much like he was enjoying this turn of events, interjected, "To be fair Rhodey did get all up in your face..not that I can blame him. You have a lovely face Steve."

Rhodey sighed, "Could you stop flirting? And its fine. I'm fine. It wasn't your fault..so could please stop bowing to me?"

Sure enough Steve had been bowing to Rhodey so often that Tony was shocked that Steve's head hadn't come off. Steve quickly stopped but still looked horrified.

"I'm really sorry Mr. Rhodey! If there is anyway that I can do for you..."

"Not sex through Rhodey I called him." Tony interjected again, earning a glare from Rhodey and a blush from Steve.

"I'm not you Tony, and you don't need to do anything but promise not to throw me out any more windows."

"I can do that."

Rhodey looked happy with that answer before returning to glare at Tony.

"What? What did I do now? And if something did happen it wasn't me! I was out getting a tree yesterday! Wasn't that right Steve?"

Rhodey raised a eyebrow, "You got a Christmas tree? You?"

Tony raised a eye brow right back, "Yes. Is there something wrong with me getting a Christmas tree?"

"Well I thought you, and I quote, hated this stupid family holiday?"

Steve flinched, yes he knew Tony was a scrooge but to hear hate and Christmas in the same sentence was just wrong. Why would anyone hate Christmas?

Tony, seeing Steve flinch, had his turn to glare at Rhodey, "Nice job Rhodey bring that up in front of a elf. What are you doing here anyway?"

Rhodey bowed his head, "You're a elf? Huh. Well sorry about that."

Steve just nodded his head, and Rhodey seemed to take that as a hint and turned back to Tony. "I'm here because Pepper send me to remind you to buy presents this year."

Tony blinked, "Doesn't she usual do all that?"

"Yes but this year she's spending Christmas with her family. You knew that right? She did tell you about it.."He stopped upon seeing Tony's blank face, "Tony..do you ever listen to people when they talk to you?"

Tony just smirked, "Sometimes..."

Rhodey just sighed again(the amount of sighs he had done in the last five minutes set the record for sighing), "Tony. Here. Just do the shopping, bring the elf with you and merry Christmas." He passed Tony a list of people's names and walked out the door. Saying something about getting a drink. Steve watched him go and turned to smile at Tony, "Present shopping huh? Any ideas about what your getting everyone?"

Tony just stared at the paper, "No idea what so ever. I'll just wing it. Now then Jarvis start the coffee machine would yeah?"

"Yes sir." Came a robotic voice from no where. Steve jumped and looked around him.

"What in the world was that?"

"That was Jarvis, made it myself. Oh! Hey Jarvis do we have any tree decorations around here?"

Steve blinked at him, "Huh?"

Tony just smiled, "Well we were going to do the tree today right?"

Steve just looked confused, "What about the gifts?"

Tony ignored him and headed off to the kitchen, "Are you coming Steve?"

"Yes! Wait up! I'll make you breakfast!"

After a eventful breakfast, where in which after taking one bite out of Steve's pancakes, Tony had fallen to his knees and asked Steve to marry him; the two stood standing in front of the Christmas tree.

"So how do we go about this?" Tony asked, smiling up at Steve, "I never decorated a tree before so your going to have to help."

Steve stared at him like he was insane, "You never decorated a tree?"

Tony shrugged and bend down to pick at the box of tree decorations, "So then do we start with lights or bulbs?"

To say that the following events would fit well in a comedy would to put it mildly. Tony had gotten tangled in Christmas lights, the tree had almost fallen over and Jarvis speaking up at some point had scared Steve so badly that he dropped a bulb and it broke. After a hour the two had finally finished the tree. Tony glared at it, "That was way to hard! How can this be fun in any way?"

Steve looked sadly at him, "It may have been hard but doesn't the tree look beautiful?" He smiled and stare loving at the tree. Thus he didn't see Tony staring at him as the Christmas lights lit up his face.

'If I had to choose...I say that you are way more beautiful than a tree Steve.' Tony shook his head at that thought. What was wrong with him? Yes Steve was hot but he had never felt like this towards anyone. 'I don't understand what is going on and I don't like it. For all I know this is some kind of elf magic!' Tony glared at Steve but all ill feelings were killed when Steve turned his smile at him, "So you wanted to do some stuff in your lap right? I'll make us some christmas cookies and join you down there."

Tony smiled, "Oh I love me some Christmas cookies, best part of the holiday if you ask me!" He turned and started for his lap, "Just ask Jarvis for directions to the lap when your done."

'How could I think that Steve would any magic on me? He so nice about everything!' Was the thought going through his head. Tony shook his head again and headed to his lap. Working on his armour always help him clear his head, and he really needed to focus on something else before he started to throw himself into Steve's arms.

Meanwhile Santa was reading his letters when he heard a noise, he looked up from his desk at the man standing before him, "WELL IF IT ISN'T THE GRINCH HIMSELF. WHAT SO YOU WANT?" He quickly hit the alarm, hoping that the grinch wouldn't notice.

The Grinch( the anti santa and the scroogest scrooge) smiled at Santa, "What I usually want Santa, to ruin Christmas."

Santa laughed, loud and threading, "AND YOU DECIDED TO COME FORWARD TO ME..SANTA ABOUT IT WHY?"

The Grinch laughed, "Because my friend this year I have the perfect weapon. Tony Stark."


The Grinch just kept on smiling, "You really are a fool if you think one elf can stop me Santa.." He pulled out a candy cane and Santa shot up in his chair.


The Grinch laughed once more, "Threatening you Santa."

At this point every elf came running in with their own candy canes, "STOP GRINCH! Your surrounded!"

The Grinch lowered his candy cane and instead threw a gas bomb, as the elves coughed he shouted out,"I will find Tony Stark and no elf will stop me!" He then vanished as quickly as he came.



End of part four!

Note: This part did not come out the way I wanted to but I was suffering from a massive writers block with this part so I wanted it out of the way. Part Five is already half way done(and better!) so expect it soon!~